My diagnosis story

Anxiety is something I have always had to deal with, but I was 15 when I finally received my diagnosis.  My parents were not equipped to handle a child with a mental illness, and I believe they were also in denial about the fact that their child might have one.

As a child, my anxiety mainly manifested itself in the social realm, as I didn't have anything else to potentially cause stress. To my parents, I was just an unusual child that preferred to read books and stay inside rather than play with friends. If someone said hello to me, I got embarrassed and looked down. I would speak in class, but not to my classmates during recess or lunch.

My parents always had the same response. "Be chipper." "Talk to people." "You should want to play with your classmates."

The truth was, I did. Desperately. I wanted friends. But I was too scared to talk to anyone.

In 8th grade, I got to a point where I was so miserable, I didn't think I could go on. Given, I was too afraid to actually end my life, but I would cry to my mother that I wanted to. After I did this for a few months, my parents finally set up an appointment for me to see the schools social worker.

The social worker was nice, and I saw her for about a year, but she wasn't much help. Different treatments work for different people, but she was not able to adequately help me.

Finally, my parents booked an appointment with a psychiatrist. Because no one in my life had been able to tell me what was wrong, I put together an extensive list of scenarios and symptoms and how they made me feel. This psychologist, however, didn't need to look at any of them. Enough "what if" questions from me made it very obvious: I was a typical case of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

My parents were supportive, and I was relieved to know that there was a reason for my suffering - one with a cure. Any stigmas they may have felt about mental illness soon washed away. In fact, soon after I received my diagnosis, my father realized he'd been in denial about his own anxiety disorder, and he too would seek treatment.