How do I deal with my spouse's anxiety?

My husband is an incredibly patient man. However, even he gets frustrated by my anxiety sometimes.

Mainly, he gets annoyed by my inability to "let things go".

For example, if I am worrying about something that cannot be instantly resolved, I tend to get depressed, moody and irritable. Obviously, that affects how I treat him, and it affects his mood as well.

I am sure this is something many dating or married couples go through if one person suffers from anxiety and the other does not. It can be very frustrating for the anxiety spouse, because they feel like their spouse doesn't understand. For the spouse without anxiety, they can feel helpless about not being able to make him or her happy.

Ideally, if you are being treated for anxiety in some way, your tension will be greatly eased and the times you feel unable to let things go with be lessened. That happened for me, but there will still be moments of weakness, no matter how effective your course of treatment (sorry).

If you suffer from anxiety, know that it is OK if your spouse doesn't fully understand how your mind works. Remember, it is difficult to explain blue to a blind person. If they haven't had anxiety, they can't fully understand. Simply let them know that it is an illness, that you are trying your best, and that you understand it can be frustrating. Tell them the best thing they can do is to support and love you.

My husband has learned that the best thing he can do for me when I am anxious is to remind me of the things that bring me comfort . He gives me a hug, and reminds me that he loves me, and the the dog loves me too. That helps bring me out of my head and back into the real world a bit. He also tries to get me to do something fun, like golfing or watching a movie. Different things may work for you, of course. But that's what works for us.

If you are seeing a psychotherapist, social worker, etc, do not be afraid to ask them about bringing your spouse along.