The "What If" Conundrum

I have anxiety. I don't want uncertainty. I don't want to worry about what will happen.

Because when you don't know what will happen, the worst-case scenarios come in to knock you down.

Worrying about the worst-case scenario, or any bad scenario, coming to fruition is exhausting, isn't it?

Yet that is the natural state of mind for anxiety sufferers with catastrophic thinking. You worry about what you don't know, and assume the worst will happen.

As controlled as my anxiety is most of the time, I still have these thoughts sometimes.

Right now is one of those times.

I've decided I'd like to further my education, and work toward a degree in mental health counseling.

Readers, you have played a big role in that - so thank you.

Going back to school is full of uncertainties, which in turn brings about the following thoughts for me. I'll map them out.

"Classes start at 4, and I work 8 - 5. What if my boss doesn't let me take off an hour early to go to school? What if he makes me choose between my job and school?"

"If my boss fires me, what will I do about paying the bills, and paying my mortgage?"

"What if I can't find the internships I need to get my license after graduation?"

"What if those internships are unpaid - will I lose my house?"

"What if I can't find a job after I get my license, and then I've wasted time and money?"

Are you exhausted yet? I sure am. I know many of you get these same thoughts. They can be very paralyzing. They can make you want to avoid taking risks - like going back to school.

They can also prevent you from making your life better.

There is the theory of risk vs. reward, but there really aren't any rewards unless you take a risk. Otherwise you just sit around in the same comfortable routine asking yourself "what if".

So if you are going to ask yourself "What if" either way, why not go for the one that might get you a reward? Why not take a risk?

I'm not saying you have to go back to school, or even jump out of an airplane. For some, it is saying "Hi" to someone they do not know. For others, it is just leaving the house.

You may not know what will happen, but that is ok. As anxiety sufferers we are STRONG. We are RESILIENT. We may not always realize it, but if that worst case scenario comes, we deal with it then. And not a minute before. We cannot allow ourselves to always worry about things that may or may not happen, and most of the time the worst case scenario doesn't come true anyway.

So go take a risk today. Don't ask yourself "What if it ruins my life." Ask yourself, "What if it makes my life better?"