Are you easily offended? Do you take things personally? Do you find yourself getting angry and lashing out at others, then regretting it later?
Unfortunately, that can be a part of anxiety.
I think that being anxious makes us a lot more sensitive to the behaviors and words of others, because we think they are doing it to spite us, or because they don't love us. Let's face it - trusting others when you have anxiety isn't easy. When your mind goes to the worst-case scenario, we react to others as if the worst case scenario - them doing or saying something to spite you - is being played out.
The truth is, people generally aren't going to do things or say things simply to spite us. There are plenty of reasons people do what they do. When you have anxiety, too often the first reason we think of is one that involves someone else not loving or respecting us.
Most of the arguments between my husband and me are due to this. The good news is that I have learned from it, and can cope now, but in the beginning of our relationship, I had a tendency to overreact to him:
If he did not answer his phone or texts in a timely manor, I assumed it was because chose not to pick up.
If he was 1/2 hour late getting to my house, it was because he didn't respect my time.
If he forgot to do a chore I asked him about, it was because he didn't love me enough to do it.
With time, I realized that these reactions were not correct. He was working, or got caught in traffic, or got busy and simply just forgot. He never intended to upset me.
To this day, my initial thoughts to such things are still negative, but I challenge them before they become any worse.
Take this morning, for example. I was upset to see that my dear hubby hadn't cleared the dishwasher without being asked. Instead of waking him up and getting angry, I simply told myself that he had been working long hours and was tired. I put a note on the door asking him to take care of them when he got a chance. And then I went to work. They were done when I got back home.
If you want to stop snapping at your loved ones, you will have to challenge your thoughts. Acknowledge that you are assuming the worst, but that there are other possibilities and reasons that have nothing to do with you.
At the beginning, you may not be able to challenge your thoughts in the heat of the moment. Try very hard to step away. Tell yourself you will get mad at him in 10 minutes.
Chances are, in 10 minutes you will have had a chance to challenge your thoughts, and you likely won't be as angry anymore.
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