"Coming Out"

Because of the stigmas that unfortunately still exist regarding mental illness, my anxiety disorder isn't something I regularly choose to share with employers, coworkers, or casual acquaintances.

Close friends and significant others? That's a different story. If someone is going to be a big fixture in my life, I'm going to tell them. I'm going to tell them about it. It is a part of who I am, and it is something that, in a way, I am proud of. I am proud of my recovery.

So how do I explain my condition to them? I explain it matter-of-factly. I tell them I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that makes me anxious more than most, but I have been treated for it. You don't have to tell your life story.

I understand that, for some of you, the thought of telling someone about your anxiety is scary. Why? You are afraid that they will think you are weird, or abandon you.

From my own experience, my "coming out" often ended up building a stronger level of trust, and therefore strengthened the friendship or relationship. Often the other person ended up sharing something about themselves that they struggle with.

If you should get a negative response, please understand that the type of person who would ostracize you for your condition is not worth your time. Their rejection isn't a reflection on you. It is a reflection on them. How people feel about things you can't control - like the fact that you have an anxiety disorder - is not your fault. All you have to do is say, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

After all, if you saw someone act like that to someone else, would you want to be that intolerant person's friend? Of course not. So consider it a good thing that you were able to rid that kind of person from your life. If they are going to be intolerant toward you, they'll be intolerant toward others. Bottom line.

It isn't easy, so I empathize with all of you who go through this. If anything, the act of confessing our condition helps us weed out the people who could potentially make us miserable vs the people who have our backs. Those are the people that matter.

 In a future post, I'll write about whether  to tell your employers and coworkers, and what your rights are.