Why I am anxious about my high school reunion, and why I decided to go anyway

High school is a breeding ground for insecurity.

Whether it is the dude that makes fun of your clothes, or the cliques that won't let you near their lunch table, there are plenty of reasons to want to hide under a rock from time to time.

For teens who suffer from social anxiety - either alone or as part of their generalized anxiety - any social situation in high school can be terrifying. From the lunch room, to recess, to bus trips, to finding partners in class... all of it was agonizing for me.

Things got much better after my Sophomore year, when I began taking medication and receiving psychotherapy for my anxiety. After that, I was able to make a few friends. I even attended my proms.

However, high school is something that I would never want to relive. If I am being honest, I have mentally blocked most of it out.

When I received my 5 year reunion invitation, I crumpled it and threw it in the garbage can. I was not interested in seeing people that reminded me of a terrible time in my life.

Last month, I received my 10 year reunion request. This time, i gave it a second look.

Why?

It all came down to my battle with anxiety.

I let it beat me throughout most of high school.

I wasn't about to let it beat me again.

So, I decided to see my 10 year reunion not as a reminder of bad times, but as a chance for redemption. A chance to show people how far I'd come. Show them that that shy little girl had come into her own, as was doing things no one ever thought possible.

More than that, I wanted to get to know these people with him I was once unable to speak. Maybe at one time being around these people caused me great anxiety, but now I know how to be their friend.

Essentially, I can turn bad memories into good ones. Come August 17, I plan to do just that.

If any of you are in a similar situation, I urge you not to sit at home and avoid confronting your past. You can't change what has happened to you, but you can control what you do now.


In my next post, I will explain how to navigate a party when you are socially anxious.