Anxious about social gatherings? Here's how to feel comfortable and have fun!

The thought of entering a crowded room can be extraordinarily frightening for someone who battles anxiety.

I used to be terrified of it. But I was forced to start attending networking events as part of my marketing job. Now I'm used to it, and in fact enjoy it to a degree. I've made some observations and learned some tricks that people who generally avoid social gatherings can use to hopefully overcome their fears.

Let me tell you the first thing to know about social gatherings. Most people are nervous about being around people they don't know very well, whether they have an anxiety disorder or not. Don't believe me? Then ask yourself why every social event, from a company networking event to a house party, has beer and vodka ready to help attendees braven up. Personally, I believe that if you are suffering from anxiety, you should try harder to stay away from heavy drinking at parties, as it is easy to become dependent. One or two is enough.

The best way to braven up does not involve booze. It involves a friend.  Anxiety worsens when you are in situations with uncertainty, and people you don't know very well or at all are certainly... well... uncertainties. So bring a friend. That friend can be your comfort and your cushion - even if you don't have the guts to speak to anyone else at the party, you can still have fun with your friend.

Even better, if you have a friend that is more social than you are, he or she can introduce you to other people at the party. If you are trying to break out of your comfort zone and talk to people you don't know, then this is a safe way to do that. Since they know your friend, you can expect to be treated with kindness if you attempt to start a conversation.

I should mention one other thing -- some people avoid parties because they don't want to be the center of attention, or don't want people looking at them and/or judging them. Well, let me tell you something my first (and greatest) psychotherapist told me. "People are so focused on themselves that they don't have the time or energy to pay any attention to what you are doing", he said. And having been to dozens of networking events and parties, I know this to be the absolute case. People do not notice you unless they are A. looking for you or B. you start a conversation with them.

I'll write in a future blog about navigating a party on your own, but if you are just starting to get out more, I'd stick to the friend approach unless you know people who will be at the party whom you can join up with. So get out and have some fun. I have faith in you!